Film review: The scariest thing about “Unfriended” isn’t the ghost-possessed Skype call

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When it gets going, “Unfriended” is well paced and unrelenting as the bodies pile up and the characters give in to their hysteria.

If you haven’t seen the hyper-pushed “Unfriended” trailer that’s taken Twitter hostage for the past few months, I can only assume you don’t know how to Internet. For everyone else, the concept alone was likely enough to make your eyes roll.

However, what I discovered while viewing “Unfriended” (formerly known as “Cybernatural”) alone at the back of a crowded movie theatre is that, despite its campy premise, the film actually delivered solid scares – and had some pretty deep things to say about teenagers and the technology that consumes them (literally).

The flick opens one year after the suicide of Laura Barns (Heather Sossaman), a popular student who shot herself after an embarrassing video of her drunken escapades went viral. We see 99.8% of the action played out through the main character’s computer screen. It’s a slow start as she checks her email, skims Spotify and informs her boyfriend via Skype that she intends to lose her virginity to him on prom night. After 10 grueling minutes of slow-moving, barely sexy stripping for her man, their call is interrupted by three of their friends. From there, the action finally begins to roll, as the group attempts to rid themselves of a mysterious intruder with deadly intentions.

Here’s what I liked about “Unfriended”: While it’s surprisingly non-gory (seriously, how this movie couldn’t get a PG-13 rating is beyond me) the brief moments of gore that we do see are pretty brutal. The footage of the kills is interrupted and jumpy thanks to a slow Internet connection, so we don’t just see an 18-year-old kid stuff his hand in a blender – we see it one brief shot at a time. In one particularly effective scene, a character’s computer is completely frozen, but the audio of her death still plays in the background, building dread until the video footage finally catches up in a solid jump-scare moment.

I also rather enjoyed the odd, misplaced comedic moments throughout. Several scenes had my fellow moviegoers laughing out loud – only to be silenced by the next intense scene, because when it gets going, “Unfriended” is well paced and unrelenting as the bodies pile up and the characters give in to their hysteria.

Here’s what I didn’t like about it: The characters in this film are – and I am positive on this – the worst human beings on earth. One guy is a date rapist and a raging alcoholic; the girls spread rumors and nasty photos of each other, despite being the best of friends. The teens are all perpetrators of the bullying and taunting that lead to Laura’s suicide, and not one of them seems to truly feel guilty about it. In fact, the main character, Blaire, seems to be more upset about her boyfriend finding out she’s not actually a virgin than she is about the hand she played in her former friend’s death.

It’s hard to form an emotional connection with characters that are so deplorable. The film wants you to care about the kids, but as more secrets are revealed, you’re more likely to be cheering for their deaths. I was not alone in this consensus. Here’s a conversation I heard behind me during the screening:

“Where are their parents?”

“Probably as far away from these a**holes as they can get.”

But for all its problems, “Unfriended” does one thing exceptionally well: portraying how teenagers deal with cyber bullying.

Lifetime took a crack at the topic, and numerous episodes of your favorite Disney Channel shows have had their swing, too. But “Unfriended” manages to paint a gruesome picture of the true mindset of teenagers these days – their entire lives are hidden behind computer screens; they post cruel comments from anonymous accounts; they share humiliating photos, spread rumors and unapologetically ridicule each other; and when their virtual actions beget real-world consequences (like when the girl they bullied snapps and commits suicide at a public park) they insist, “We didn’t mean anything by it!” or “It was just a joke!” And when the tables are turned, and they find themselves on the receiving end of humiliation, degradation and betrayal, the torment becomes all too real.

These characters (Laura included) behave as though a rumor about an eating disorder or getting busted for selling weed is the absolute end of the world. When we finally see the full video that lead to Laura’s suicide, it is tragic. Why? Because essentially it is a video of her drunkenly slurring her words before ending up passed out beside a shed. It is the kind of video that, as an adult, we would quickly move forward from. But for a fragile, troubled teenager like Laura, it is too much to handle.

And that is the true horror of “Unfriended” – that for kids today, rumors and videos and photos capture their mistakes forever, and for them, it is the end of the world.

The Specifics

Plot: Slow to start, but quick to finish. It’s not the best web screen-based horror flick (see “The Den” – available on Netflix – for a much scarier experience) but it’s definitely one of the most poignant commentaries on cyber bullying so far.

Acting: The cast is exclusively made up of unknowns (with the exception of Jacob Wysocki, who you may recognize as Justin from “Pitch Perfect”) but the acting is pleasantly believable. Despite being – and again, I cannot stress this enough – the worst human beings ever, the characters manage to gain sympathy in their most desperate moments. Will Peltz as the douchey, violent Adam is easily the best actor in the film.

Sights and Sounds: The computer screen format is definitely irritating at times. There’s just too much to look at. However, the lack of background music and constant screen buffering lends itself to more than a few jump scares and creepy moments.

Re-Watch Value: Moderate. When this inevitably ends up on Netflix, you’ll stream it every time you have friends over for a scary movie night.

Final Cut: 3/5

Theater information and show times can be found at:

http://www.fandango.com/unfriended_179657/movieoverview