On March 30, 2021 a giant, flying creampuff hit the Honors dorm on Tarleton State University’s Stephenville campus.
The creampuff came from the planet Mars with the intention to cause trouble.
“I wanted to destroy the dorm but I’ll settle for a flood,” the creampuff said.
Students around the campus scattered to avoid being hit by flakes of delicious pastry.
“I was running as fast as I could but I still ended up with filling in my hair and on my shoes,” freshman Honors student, Sally Hanson said.
The creampuff struck the side of the building facing Rudder Way doing enough damage to displace almost 20 students before the flooding occurred. After assessing the damage caused by the flooding, it is estimated that over 50 students will be sleeping in the hammock garden during the repairs.
“My favorite part was seeing everyone run from the building to avoid getting hit by the debris,” the creampuff said.
“It was like getting on a ride at Six Flags right after eating a funnel cake,” Hanson said. “The entire campus still smells like sewer water and creampuff.”
The smell of the sewer water from the busted pipes is still lingering across campus and can be smelled by all. There have even been reports that it can be smelled all the way up Washington St. to Walmart.
“It stinks so bad. I can’t understand why anyone or anything would want to do this to us,” sophomore Honors student, Jessica Rabbit said.
The creampuff took almost three cranes to remove from campus as it screamed and thrashed the entire time it was being removed.
“The screaming was the worst part. I know some people say that the smell is the worst but the way that it screamed made my ears ring,” Rabbit said.
The cranes were positioned with two in the middle of Rudder Way and one inside of the Honors courtyard and they are expected to remain in place until the damage can be fixed.
“It really sucks because all of my stuff got destroyed. I can’t imagine what it’s like for people who were on the side of the building that wasn’t destroyed, having to deal with the smell and now the construction noise,” Hanson said.
The repairs are expected to last for the rest of the semester and into the summer.
“If only I could have done enough damage to last them until the fall semester. That was my plan anyways,” The creampuff said.
At the moment it is unknown if any more creampuffs from Mars will be coming to do more damage. There is evidence to support the claim that the creampuff was paid by East Central University Football players in order to throw our Tarleton Texans off their rhythm for tomorrow’s game.
Other theories state that the creampuff could have been paid to distract the Baseball and Softball players from their games coming up this weekend against the Dixie State teams.
Either way this is a massive blow to the Tarleton Stephenville campus and it is unknown how long exactly repairs will take to complete.
Just kidding, happy April Fool’s Day Texans!