As young women, it is ingrained into our minds at an early age that being successful in life means obtaining a career and finding someone to love. As time progresses and we get older, it seems like finding someone to love becomes harder and harder. Quite honestly, I have found that the hardest person to love is myself and it took a mountain of high-rise jeans and a suitcase full of oversized tees from the men’s section at Walmart for me to realize that being a size 14 in a size 0 world is one of the hardest things I have ever been tasked with. Growing up in a world that teaches women to find completeness within a man has caused some of us to forget that true love is first rooted in self love, not the other way around. 

Aside from the obvious, negative self-talk and a lack of self love can affect your physical health as much as your mental health. Poorly managed negative emotions can cause chronic stress which can shorten your lifespan. 

The first step to loving your body is showing it gratitude. Our bodies have gotten us through breakups, midterms, final exams and global pandemics. It can feel impossible to love and accept every stretch mark and “imperfection” but positive self-talk is the key to finding self love. It might seem small or insignificant but a few kind words or reminders can boost your overall mood. 

“As someone who has struggled with self image for a long time, the best thing you can do is be patient with yourself. Think about the people you love most and think about how forgiving and loving you are with them and then treat yourself that same way. Be someone you love! Even if you might not look the way you want, you can only do so much to change that. You can always work on who you are as a person. You are the only person completely in control of that,” Communications major, Alli Roberts said. 

Many young adults deal with body image issues as well as body dysmorphia everyday. Body dysmorphia is defined as a mental illness that involves obsessive focus on perceived flaws. According to a study conducted by Katharine Phillips, MD, body dysmorphia affects about one in every 50 people in the United States. Body dysmorphia can be triggered throughout daily activities such as scrolling through social media and trying on clothes at a mall. Although body dysmorphia is completely common among men and women, it can be hard to separate what is real and what is not. This can be especially hard when social media is brought into the equation. We have to remember that social media is fake because it can create this false ideal that some people have perfect lives when in reality, everybody has their flaws. Always remember that the only person you need to look good for is yourself.

“Being in the right mindset is absolutely important with body positivity and mental health. Our society has made great strides in acceptance of all body types, but we need to continue the work. Social media can be a great connection, but also one that can be destructive. One has to remember that not everyone posts the bad things or bad pictures. Many use filters to make them look better. This give a false perception that the individual posting has a perfect life, which then makes us question ‘what is wrong with me?’ The answer: nothing. You are perfect the way you are,” director and nurse practitioner, Bridgette Bednarz said.

“When I was really struggling with body dysmorphia, my therapist would have me do super simple daily affirmations. It helps to do them in the morning and drink water when you do it. She told me to just stand and look at myself in the mirror and say out loud the things I like and try to come up with more things I like instead of what I don’t like which really helped me. Also just wearing what I’m comfortable in. I slowly regained confidence after doing this everyday,” agriculture education major, Alexandria Dowdy said. 

Maybe you love how easily your hair curls or how you can remember every single line of Frozen II. Perhaps you are a fan of your bubbly personality or your ability to read a graphic novel in less than 24 hours. Whatever it might be, try to always remind yourself why you are worthy of unconditional love. Positivity breeds positivity and negative self-talk feeds into body dysmorphia. Remember that you are not made to fit into clothes. Clothes are made to fit you. Not being able to fit into jeans from your sophomore year of high school is normal. The first step to loving yourself is accepting that bodies change everyday and you might not have the same body you had two years ago pre-pandemic. 

“I believe media images and social media filters promote unrealistic  expectations especially in teenage girls.  Body positivity and health rather than image needs to be taught to children and teens today,” assistant professor, Paula McKeehan said. 

Having body dysmorphia is normal and learning how to cope with it is manageable. Learn what looks  make you feel confident and remember that negative self-talk only makes you feel worse. Stay positive and show yourself some love, Texans.

For more information about body dysmorphia and how to cope with it, go to www.banyanmentalhealth.com/2021/01/27/coping-with-body-dysmorphia/.